Criminal #35: La Senza "The Brapocalypse Has Begun"

This is not a joke. This is not something that is meant to be taken in light jest. This is a serious problem. I have never been so angry before. Coca Cola combined with Pepsi combined with Nestle couldn't make me as utterly pissed off as I am right now.

Let me say this right off the bat; La Senza, I am taking you down. It might take me a month, it might take me a year but you will pay for the injustices you have laid upon good people. You will pay for firing the best manager and regional supervisor, two of the nicest people I have ever met. You will pay for being a morally reprehensible corporation. You. Will. Pay.

Here's the low down:

I began working at La Senza, a Canadian bra emporium (Think Victoria's Secret for Canada and parts of Europe) just two months ago. At the time there were two people in charge (Names changed for the safety and concern of the people involved.) Annie, the regional supervisor (as I understand it she looked after the four stores in our city, two La Senza's and two La Senza Girl's, one of each for the two malls in town.) There was also Lily (I totally suck at changing names, HA!) who was the store manager for us, STORE 207. THAT IS 207, BOWER MALL, RED DEER, ALBERTA.
Here is the basic timeline of what happened:

-Roughly three weeks in to my working, Annie is let go citing her position is being cut all along Canada. She has been with the company for years and could easily run our store single handedly. The staff are all very sad to see her leave but we keep going, after all we still have Lily.

-Two to three weeks after that, during Lily's day off (Very important point), the new supervisor of the area (information about this is sketchy) CHRISTY (oh my god, that's her real name) brings in May, the new 'Co-Manager' of not only 207, but the La Senza girl across from us, as well as the La Senza girl up at Parkland, the other mall on the other side of town. Remember, this was on Lily's day off, none of us, least of all Lily knew that May was coming. No one was informed about the new management position being created DESPITE several assistant managers and team leaders (key holders) being told in the past that should management positions open, they would be given first shot at it. We are all stunned.

-At this point alarm bells are going off. May puts no effort into getting to know anyone. Christy is being silent about the whole issue. I see Lily that day, she, one of the nicest people I know, looks mightily pissed off.

-Two weeks later (roughly) a Wednesday, Lily walks out. She has had enough.

And here's the roaming theory about what happened: Annie's position was cut, okay, I get that. Costs and what not. She was offered a management position which she declined, it would have been a step down for her.

Lily walks. Why does she walk? Very simple, along with the insanely passive aggressive actions of head office (IE: bringing in NEW MANAGEMENT without informing the MANAGER and on her day off no less) they drove Lily away. Now, I know we can easily say "Well, stand up for yourself. Don't take it." But remember, these are women. Women are bitches. I'm allowed to say that because A) I'm a woman B) I'm really pissed off and C) It wasn't that long ago that I was in high school and I can clearly remember the evil that was every girl I went to school with. We are conniving, we are bitter, we are cruel. And if she didn't walk, they would have fired her sooner or later.

OKAY, so after some venting, and silent rebellion by the staff, most of us seem to be getting used to May. I figured a lot of our rage against her was just misdirected. We were really, subconsciously pissed off at head office.

That was until last week, when I arrived and was told by several of the girls that May was mad because I missed a shift. Um, what? Apparently, so did my counterpart, who works the other half of the part time stock girl shift, we'll just call her L. for now because I can't think of anything else. Well, L had already cleared her days off with Lily, so this was easily cleared up, and May claims that she never made those comments about MY missed shifts. I give her the benefit of the doubt.

Wednesday, March 25th. There are 16, count them, 16 job interviews going on that day. There are not that many positions available. The thoughts of the staff? They're trying to do to us what they did to Lily.

Even then, I was willing to ignore that, I mean, I'm just a lowly stock girl, right? Why replace me? Together L and I make this great team, she takes half the shifts, I take the other half, and then we cross paths and get loads of stuff done all at once. It's great. It worked for the last two months. For the last two weeks or so we had been hearing that May was looking to hire a full time stock girl. Okay, that means our jobs are about to get cut. I wasn't too worried because I had been hired under the assumption that in a few months I would move to full time. (I had a back surgery in December and was just waiting to fully heal before I started. I discussed with with April- I mean May, OOPS, last week before my last Doctor's appointment. She did not follow up with me. Let me add at this point that Lily was uber concerned about my condition. Granted, that's not important to the story, but that says a lot about the character of the manager when one of them is constantly asking you if you need to go home early and the other one doesn't give a flying fuck.)

Okay, so L and I are in working this morning, two days after the major job interviews. Mal, EX-Assistant manager (because apparently her old job got cut too) comes in and tells us "There's a new full time stock girl."

L and I just stare.

Yes, there is a new full time stock girl. Ignore the fact that L and I make up one full time position AND the company doesn't have to pay benefits to us. May still felt the need to hire someone to replace us.

Just who is this someone?

She is a 17 year old drop out.

I won Most Inspirational Student when I graduated. She hasn't even been able to get that far.
So, of course I went from thinking "It's not personal" to "It's fucking personal, this fucking company, I'm going to fucking take them down." Which is what I plan on doing, somehow.

Why is she doing this? Simple, when May took over she got one hell of a rebellion, no one bothered to hide their discontent with the whole situation, Lily was forced out of her job. It was terrible, cruel, and wrong on many levels. May knows she can't win over the staff (in fact, I don't think she ever planned on it seeing as how she never bothered to get to know us at all.) So she begins to hire new people, making us feel as though we're being replaced, which of course we are. Legally, they can't fire most of us (I am the exception as I haven't been employed for 90 days yet) without reason. Technically they would have to cut all the positions and rename them to fire everyone, lest they face the wrath of human resources.

What can we do about it? Not a damn thing, because it goes further than just May. Another coworker, we'll call her D, contacted Christy, regional supervisor, after Lily walked, and what did Christy say? "Did she leave her key?"

That says something right there. When the first response to an excellent manager walking isn't "Holy shit, what happened?" but "Did she leave her key?" That tells me that this was planned, this was intentional. This childish, high school attitude to shun people and force them out of the popular clique that is La Senza, disgusts me in every way possible. So who can we go to? When May is a bitch, Christy is her mistress, and everyone above them are completely clueless? What do you do? Take things into your own hands, that's what. Along with getting several testimonies from my ex coworkers, I plan on filing a formal complaint to human resources, and raising more than a little bit of hell (and anyone who knows me, knows I'm capable of it.)

So here's what I need from you: Do not buy from La Senza. Direct people you know to this article and convince them not to buy from La Senza. If anyone has any legal expertise at all, or suggestions at how I can go about getting some justice please let me know. Apart from filing complaints and burning bras at protests, I'm fresh out of ideas. Either way, I'm walking next friday (I can easily get a reference from Annie or Lily, so I'm not too worried. Plus, I made friends with a guy at a mall kiosk looking to hire someone and he said he'd give me a call.)

I'll be fine. But you, La Senza Canada (Specifically store 207 in Bower Mall, Red Deer.) You will not be fine. You are about to have this shit blow up in your face. And I will be there smiling all the goddamned way.

I almsot forgot to add, not once were any of us A) introduced to the new people or B) told that new people were coming (let a lone a new stock girl.) Why not? Why not have a staff meeting and say "You know, I'm going to be hiring five new people..." You know why? Because they're replacements, not additions.

Criminal #34 LEGO "Legooooonoooo"

I played with LEGO a lot when I was a kid. My second eldest brother, Greg, loved the stuff. I think he must have gotten LEGO for every present-giving occasions under the sun. LEGO for Christmas, LEGO for his birthday. It was great because he really had (and I assume still does) an eye for building in the 3D. We have an infamous LEGO city in our basement which regrettably was destroyed when we moved. Not sure if any pictures of it still exist.

So yes, as a girl, I loved played with LEGO. No, I wasn't really a tomboy. I mean, I wasn't girly by any means, I didn't really fit in anywhere on the scale. I loved LEGO.

Now, not so much. Take a look:

Dinosaur, plane, tank, ship. Ignoring the fact that right off the bat I can think of two LEGO sets that actually allow a person to build a plane AND a ship, making the three or four block creations redundant, here's my beef.

Those four things are male oriented. Now, as always I know what you're probably thinking. "But Kathleen, you're the one who stresses that kids should be able to play with any toys no matter what gender! What's stopping the girls from playing with the tanks?"

Nothing at all. The problem is the average mind isn't going to think "Oh my gosh! I have breasts and I love that dinosaur!" Society has, once again, created such a firm image of what girls and boys should play with, that I'm almost positive the average girl would scoff at the thought of playing with a tank or a dinosaur or a plane. Why should they? I loved it. What is stopping LEGO from easing into a new free-thought-gender-free toy campaign? Why not have a castle in there? Something that either gender could play with? Knights in shining armour, princesses. Granted, it still plays up the age old stereotype but at the very least, the ad would appeal to boys and girls alike.

It gets worse. I was googling some LEGO ads, hoping I could find proof that LEGO aims for young boys far more than girls (all I could find was the following, and seeing as it was the ONLY one I could find, it doesn't really validate my point.)

In my e-hunt I discovered the following three ads which made me more than a little uneasy.

(Click for bigger images)

Let's get one thing straight. There is a time and place to teach your child that the world is cruel. Through an advertisement of a loveable childhood toy would be the WRONG way. In what world is that acceptable at all? Disaster, famine, destruction? Should those really be mixing with innocence? Do you want you child to believe that the world can be so easily rebuilt with a few blocks? I guarantee you those people escaping genocide and famine don't consider it easy. Those are serious topics made mockerys. In no way should people stand for that sort of shit; it disgusts me.

Criminal #33 PETA "...Seawhatnow?"

So, PETA has always been a sort of hit and miss situation with me. I've always been against animal testing (except, as stated in my Covergirl post, where it might be medically relevant. *Note, 'medically' and not 'cosmetically') but to me, PETA just takes it to extremes.

Just a quick point here, if this should ever become well known and someone goes on some PETA database somewhere and says "Hey, Kathleen! Your name is on it!" Yes, yes it is. You know why? Because they were giving away free stickers and I wanted some goddamned mail.

Antifur? Okay, yes, in a day and age where the fake thing is so readily available and, let's face it, probably no worse than the real thing. Leather? Meh, personally I'm not into it, but others are, and that's cool. Plenty of cultures are based off of the harmony between man and animal. Being Canadian, I grew up learning all about the Native American traditions, the sort of respect they held for the environment and the animals they hunted. In my own opinion that's good, that's the circle of life, big deal!

I could even put up with "I'd rather go naked than wear fur" campaign that seemed to show up in every magazine I bothered to glance through. Then, once more, good ol' AdFreak brought something to my attention:

I'm sorry, what? Kittens of the Sea? Have you ever even seen a kitten? Or a fish for that matter? I might be mistaken but I'm pretty sure there are a few differences between them, one being a fish is a freaking fish, dude! Kittens are mammals. MAMMALS.

Kittens of the Sea, dear god! There is one thing to be said about posting provocative ads that will allow a person to form their own educated guess. There's something else to be said about calling fish freaking kittens of the goddamned sea, evoking an image of, I don't know what, some kind of cutesie furry fish with pointy ears and whiskers.

And you know why they did it? Because kids eat that shit up. Kids are impressionable. Kids think fish are cute. Kids think kittens are cute (alternate ideas for the campaign were puppies of the river and ponies of the pond). Kids will see ads like that, with it's tastefully minimalistic amount of words and think "I can't eat a kitten! I can't eat a fishy!" Next thing you know mom is sending thousands of unused tins of tuna to the foodbank because the children won't eat it.

No, what PETA has done here is manipulative beyond words. Aiming for impressionable children is morally reprehensible as far as I'm concerned. Let a child make an educated choice when they are older, when they can understand the consequences of having meat-free diets, when they realize they'll be taking supplements for the rest of their lives and eating what can only be described as a crap-load of legumes. Children won't understand those consequences. They aren't wired to 'get it'.

Now the following, despite their sexual nature, are still better representations of PETA's anti-animal-demise message:

The irony in this being that Paris Hilton would go naked for a quarter inch of a Klondike Bar.

Criminal #32 Yoplait "Can I get some chocolate covered sexism with that?"

When? When, when, when, when will the sexism end? That's my new song. It's pretty catchy. It even sort of rhymes, which is amazing because I'm a woman and logically I shouldn't be able to get my mind off of either chocolate, shopping, or shopping for chocolates (in chocolate shoes apparently.)

Now, I love yogurt. I'm a huge yogurt person. It's tangy, and sweet, and smooth and so very delicious.

Yoplait makes yogurt un-delicious. Yoplait makes me want to take my chocolate handgun and go postal. There will be milk duds flying everywhere, strawberry carnage, blueberries massacred on the sidewalk.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a spa treatment would be awesome, and eating yogurt during said spa treatment would probably be... well, like eating yogurt during a spa treatment. Buy why, out of every possible activity imaginable, did Yoplait choose to show those two women in a spa? Ignoring for the fact that they couldn't get their heads off of the chocolatey goodness topic, why couldn't they have been discussing it while skydiving? Or rescuing hostages from a 1904 day old standoff in Israel? Or maybe, I don't know, in an office, doing a job like normal people? Or, and here's something that will absolutely blow. your. mind.

Why couldn't MEN have been enjoying that yogurt? I'll tell you why. Because society has made yogurt a health-conscious thing, and as we all know, women are far, far more health conscious than men, at least according to the advertising we see. Yes, there is absolutely no way yogurt would be considered a manly snack (Yoplait now in malt liquor flavor?) So of course, they had to bring in the women to enjoy the yogurt... while at the spa... discussing shoes...and chocolate... and something about marrying a masseuse, I don't know I was tuning it out by the end there.

Criminal #31 Pantene Pro V "...I'm sorry, what?"

I'm sorry, what? I was distracted there for a second.

Criminals #29 and 30 Those Religious and Athiest Ads On Buses "Does Your Religion or Lack There Of Understand Hypocrisy?"

First, let me get this straight... I can't add Religion or Atheism (whatever) to the list simply because it is a faith/belief and, to ask someone to give that up simply for this social experiment would be wrong. However, I am going to address something that caught my eye today. The hypocrisy of anyone spouting any religion, and Atheists.

Okay, okay, bare with me, this isn't going to be a "The Bible says that but then you do this" rant or "There is no God, science proves that" Rant. I don't care what you believe, or how you believe it. I, personally, think having a faith of some sort, in at least a minuscule amount can be good for a person which is why whenever anyone asks me what my religion is I always tell them that I believe in a higher power which is possibly a woman, or maybe a cat. I'm not sure.

However, just because you believe (or don't) in something doesn't mean you have the right to force others to believe (or not) in whatever it is. (Sorry, I'm listening to Hawksley Workman right now so my level of distraction is pretty high. And in case anyone is wondering, yes the concert was fantastic and I borrowed some money so I officially own all 10 of his albums. Yay me!)

While hunting on AdFreak (http://adweek.blogs.com/adfreak), my new favorite place to find advertisements, I noticed this bizarre number of Anti-Atheism and Anti-Religion ads being put out by the religious folks and atheists respectively. I wasn't going to pay much attention to, again, believe what you want. I don't necessarily think that either idea should be shoved down our throats, and I'd like to be able to walk down the street without being told I'm either wrong for believing whatever I do, or I'm going to hell because I don't believe enough. Sort of like Separation of Church and State I suppose.

However, when I opened up the local newspaper today I was hit by this headline: Atheist Bus Ads Hit Calgary (http://www.albertalocalnews.com/reddeeradvocate/news/provincial/Atheist_bus_ads_hit_Calgary.html)

Okay, yes, whatever you want. I guess if you have the money to waste then go right ahead but here's what caught my attention (it isn't shown on the Advocate website, I'm quoting from the Newspaper itself) this mini bolded byline:

Ron Collins, with Calgary Transit, said there will be six buses carrying the Freethought Association message for one month.

Um, okay? Key word there being Freethought. Naturally I assumed that was what I was doing when I decided that I wanted to believe in something but I guess maybe all those years of being brainwashed have finally come back to bite me in the asswaiddaminute.

This begs the question, are people, Atheists or Religious folks alike, really so thick that they can't notice their own hypocrisy? Yes, I'm aware there is lots of it throughout all religions, whatever.

Believe what you want people, I don't give a flying fuck. The important thing is to believe what you want and not be influenced by anyone, idiots at the so-called 'Freethought Association' or whoever. So that's my rant, I'm putting the Freethought Association on the list, also, mind control cults, because they make me laugh.
Kelti, if you are reading this, I still really, really want to infiltrate a cult one day, are you still game? (Wait, were you the one I suggested that to? You probably were because I think you're the only one crazy enough to go along with my bizarre schemes.)
And now, for some other Anti-Atheism and Anti-Religion ads for your enjoyment.

Criminal #28 Skittles ("Ah... awww...")

This one made me think of my brother, Greg, who seems to have made it his life's mission to hunt down a cheaply made, mail order, Asian suit for 30 bucks. I don't think he's succeeded so far.

So let's examine this one for stupidity first, shall we?

Firstly, "Wait, I don't have..." No, sir, you do not have a package of Skittles in you're jacket pocket. You know what else you don't have? The genetic coding to make you Asian or African American, or Hispanic. I know this may comes as a shock to you but... well, you're whiter than Conan O'Brian's upper thighs, so really, the shock of having no Skittles shouldn't come as that big of a surprise to you.

Now, yes, I know, that was the point of the commercial. Oh haha, silly white man doesn't notice three separate reflections in the mirror but he does notice candy! Oh ha ha ha! Aaah. Yes, I get it, that doesn't mean it isn't stupid. Even getting passed the idiocy of that we have to look at the certain roles being played here.

1) White man getting a nicely tailored suit by kindly old Asian man. Three cheers for White Power? Personally, looking at it, I would have to say I would have found it a little more comical if it was an Asian man getting tailored (by anyone of any race) only to discover that he has A) No Skittles and B) is actually secretly a white man (perhaps Conan could have been free to play the reflective image?)

Getting passed the all other elasticities unobservant to the white man issue for a moment, (and ignoring the fact that the Hispanic guy and African American are all like, Meh, whateves man, I'm looking pretty spiffy in this new suit. Chshaaa.) We have, yet another commercial, stereotyping men as being idiots except where one of the three golden things come in (Food, fucking, and fast cars.) I guarantee you if it had been a woman standing there they would have made her freak out. "Jesus Christ, I-I'm black? Oh my god, over here I'm Hispanic!" And then she would have had a total melt down and it probably would have turned into an ad for Always or something like that.

The next stereotype? Asian freak out. We don't even know what they're saying but I can assume it is something along these lines.

"You are eating Skittles! Stop it!"
"I am a decendant of the Emperor, I can do what I want!"
"Skittles are not appropriate Emperor snacks!"
"My uncle was Bruce Lee! My Mother is Jackie Chan! I will cut you!" *Mirror smash*

Because, in case you haven't noticed, Asians have three stereotypes as well. They all know hand to hand combat and resort to that whenever an argument arises, they're all terrible drivers, and they're all math geniuses.

Don't blame me, that's what commercials have taught me, and this one certainly isn't showing me any different as far as numero uno goes.

So ask yourself this? What was it that the Asian reflection was the one freaking out? Why not the Hispanic one? Or the African American one? If you're thinking "because he speaks the same language as the shop keeper and it makes sense" ask yourself this, why is Conan O'Brian's White Upper thigh getting served by an Asian? Can he speak the language fluently? If so, why didn't he jump in when they started freaking out on each other? I certainly would if I was in between two people yelling at each other (especially if one knew how to kick like that.)

The biggest problem I have with this commercial is that it brings up too many questions. There are all these different things going on, tiny points that counter each other, leading me to think "So what the hell was the point of that?"

Yes, I'm all for "Reflecting the rainbow" or "Tasting the rainbow", whatever. But, um... Why? Just... just why, Skittles?