I have waited my whole life (okay, last two and a half years) for a chance to do this. Coca Cola. You SUCK. YOU, my friend, ARE ON NOTICE (Please don't sue me, Stephen T. Colbert) I know some people out there are a little stunned, I mean, Coke
and Pepsi? I can't do that to a person. Oh, oh yeah, I can. I suppose the only thing stopping me from putting Coke as the #1 Evil Corporate Product was the fact that although I had
some proof they were villains in the Corporate World, I didn't feel as if I had enough to back up my own personal hate of them.
Thus, my next thanks extends to Craig, my well-meaning, albeit giver of pain Physiotherapist. I was getting my back worked over, once again a few tuesday's ago when somehow Craig and I got onto the topic of Coca Cola. I mentioned, as I do to everyone who will listen, that I am 100% against Coke in every way possible,to which he replied, "Oh, you mean the water thing."
What water thing? It's been a couple years since I watched the Cola Wars (great documentary, everyone should see it) and
if they made mention of "The Water Thing" I certainly didn't remember it, so he went on.
As it turns out, all across India communities are suffering water shortages. Why, you ask? Well quite simply, those communities that house, or are near Coca Cola bottling plants, are having their water siphoned from the ground by this Spawn of Satan Soft Drink (Thank you alliterations). To make matters worse (and lets remember, this is India, one of the last places on earth that needs to have these sorts of problems) tests have been done on ground water found well below the surface. Anyone want to guess what they discovered? Not only a strange taste
and smell, but severe pollution to the ground water.
As it turns out, Coca Cola has been (or had been, I've yet to find an up-to-date article) dumping their sewage from the plants into rivers, streams, and fields around its plants. The soil and water has been polluted and signs were posted to warn people that the water they
could find was unsafe for human consumption.
Now, I'm not particularly scientifically inclined but I seem to recall a day in biology where the teacher stressed the importance of water. Or maybe that was Coca Cola. I can't remember now.
For those of you that aren't impressed by the science aspect of it, let's look at something a little more personal. Now, I'm Canadian, and we're a mosaic country. People of all shapes and sizes and colours, living together as a united nation but still maintaining our own separate identities, and because I'm as white as the day is long I can't necessarily understand this as much as someone who lives in a country that isn't a mosaic (or even a melting pot), but hear me out.
Green tea, a staple in the Asian culture. They surround their most holy and sacred ceremonies around the art of preparing and consuming the drink. It is arguably the most identified part of Asia (apart from Manga and Sushi of course). So imagine for a moment, China or Japan without green tea. Hard to think about right? I'm mean sure, times are a-changin' ma, but some things always remain the same, don't they? Not if Coca Cola has it's way. That's right, everyones favorite teeth-rotting drink somehow snuck into the Asian market and guess what? It's winning. It's beating the tea so it's no longer green but more black and blue. Part of the Asian culture is disappearing more and more everyday because this grotesque organization is more concerned with the profits they're rolling in as opposed to the price of tradition.
The same thing goes for Russia, and Kvass (or Kvas, I'm finding different spellings of it). Go ahead, make your jokes about Vodka being the national drink, pretty soon you'll be making them about Coca Cola, because that's what's taking over. Kvas is nearly nonexistant now, and not because the elderly babooshkas are suffering from dementia, but because Coca Cola has once again snuck into a country a little down on its luck and promised the revive the economy with the simple introduction of a Coke machine on every corner.
So what else can I say about it? Let's hit North America, shall we? If you've gone to High School, or Middle School, and maybe even some elementary schools, you've seen them. That's right, the Coke or Pepsi machines (but never both of them together.) More and more these companies are trying to clean up their image by supporting the education of todays youth. All we hacve to do in return is pass by Pepsi machines (a la my high school) every day. There were 1, 2, 3, 4... Yup, four of them at good ol' Mount Boo, and you can guarantee that come Friday afternoon they were all empty. It was disturbing the way we bought into them because the drinks were inexpensive and gave us the quick energy we needed. God only knows what it must have done to our bodies.
So with Coke and Pepsi on the list, what are you going to drink? Try water, I've heard it's great. And if that doesn't suit you, ice tea crystals with soda water, very yummy. Just don't drink Coke.
So let's look at it shall we? (clicky clicky for a bigger piccy) So we've got to very bored little uns' a girl and a boy, observe the boys penis. A new fascination to be sure, and I'm sure tiny, probably about the size of an energizer battery.
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